Smothered me in your love, and in presence.

Today took twice the time to tackle.

Wrapped in time, as I want your riddance.

Do me this favor, and unlock the shackle.

Soaked in the rum to no point of return.

Oh, how lovely you look to me now.

Do my eyes play tricks, and why do they burn?

I cannot afford thee, so must disallow.

How my head aches waking to your smile.

Covered in regret, and I bet I must reek.

Decisions were made, and should have run a mile.

You hold me close, and then kiss my cheek.

Then you were a dove as I began to love.

I see that you’re sent from the heavens above.

We all make mistakes. I wish I could be more self aware when I’m being selfish, but I’m human, and insecure. I can’t see passed my selfish point of view. My ideals are high and most cannot achieve them. I still find myself thinking about you. I think mostly because I never realized how thoughtful of a person you truly were.

One day I was cleaning out a box of papers where I found cards that you got me on Valentine’s day. I never realized until then that they all had apes on them and what it meant until I realized that a stuffed ape was the very first gift that I ever gave you. I felt sad when i realized this because I didn’t realize your intent until after we’ve been broken up for so long. 😦

I also found a keychain that you got me for christmas one year. I don’t know why I never used it until after we broke up. Throwing it away was very difficult for me to do because I felt it signified me of letting go of you. Yes, it did work for the most part, although every once in a while you still pop in my head from time to time. I wonder if you think of me at all. I’m sure you probably d0nt.

*”I drink some wine. I feel mostly okay.”

Smother me in your love.

Smother me with your presence.

I can’t breathe.

Help me breathe?

Smothered with love?

Can that be?

I don’t want you. I don’t need you.

Yet, I think of you.

Get out of my mind.

Get out of my head.

I’ve been here before.

Why am I here?

Here. Now. Here.

Breathe…

Smother me no more.

Breathe…

Here.

Do I belong here?

Here.

Smothered.

Smothered in your presence.

Smothered in the past.

Smothered.

I can’t breathe.

Breathe…